||[May. 19th, 2004|04:16 am]
Walking through the back alleys of the dark to get around finding a place to rest. A moments breath can only last so long. Feeling the pain makes room for motivation. The search continues with sweat dripping down into my eyes. The humidity within the narrow shortcuts disturbs my lasting thoughts. I can feel my legs starting to give out. It’s all I can do to bounce from side to side as an act of movement. Resting for just a second to catch a breather, I think it was by accident that I found an open door. I couldn’t help but crash onto the floor once I walked past the doorway. My eyes opened not too long after and nothing had changed. Examining what I could of my surrounding and myself. Things in common there were. Emptiness was all around, I tried to fill the space, tried to patch it all up. I couldn’t get a grip on how long I’d last. Moving on past the flickering lights, I had to pause and look behind me. A brief, flash memory ran across my head. It took all my strength to remain standing as it knocked the breath right out of me. There wasn’t a clue in my mind what that meant, not yet anyways. All I could do was continue walking forward.
For days on end the walking went on and on. Sleepwalking with my eyes half open. I can see the last of darkness. Coming to a stop just to see what seems to be an eternity of a parking lot. Did this symbolize a part of me? Dropping to my knees, screaming at the top of my lungs until I fell completely over crying. Why was there piece or a blank space inside that I didn’t know what it was or how to fill it. Looking off into the horizon, it was dark enough to make the light poles turn on. Where to go from here. Is there even such a place to go to? Was there a reason to? I’m sure there was. Staring at each light, one to another, there was one that flickered from the rest. Leaning on one arm half way, I started to focus in on the light. It was almost as if it had put me into a trance. My eyes didn’t move, blink or go dry. Glimpses of memories I thought I once had swept across my face every time the light flickered. Flashes of a face I sworn I could’ve known in my life. Or so it seemed that way. Suddenly it all made sense, the light went steady for a few seconds and it was like a brief stream of film from what I saw. I then knew what everything meant. Lying back down on the cement, closing my eyes, filling the empty space. I had patched up the space that once hurt. Inside looking at the face that I was missing all along as I passed away. I was now complete.